Saying Goodbye
by mionemobp
Summary: Sirius has to say goodbye to the woman he loves. Rated for minor swearing.


**A/N: Not Rowling. Clearly.**

* * *

Marlene McKinnon stood alone. Her family was completely gone, and she was sweating, glaring at all the Death Eaters surrounding her. They had been relentless in the last twenty minutes, able to wipe out her entire family, only leaving Marlene to glare at them. They sneered in return.

"You can't beat us, girl," said the only woman, who happened to be the craziest of the Death Eaters.

"What, are you trying to do? Recruit me for you little gang?" She knew she couldn't win, but she was trying to remember her family. Her parents had been the first to die, dying so they could try and protect their children. They had gotten the simple killing curse. Abigail, her eleven-year-old sister, had been knocked into the couch, and her body was hanging off the back. Marlene hadn't seen how she had died. Her seventeen-year old brother, Aaron, had been Sectumsempra'd, and he laid in a pool of his own blood in the corner. And her fourteen-year-old brother, Elijah, had had his neck broken, and was laying right under Abigail.

They were supposed to go to Hogwarts the next day. Abigail hadn't even been sorted. She hadn't experienced the greatness of Hogwarts. Elijah was about to enter his fourth year, and he was about to start some of the more advanced magic. And Aaron, he had a girlfriend. They'd been dating two years, and now he was dead.

How would she go down? With a simple killing curse? It didn't matter, but she had a chance to take someone out one last time. She steeled herself, before she pointed her wand to the side and yelled, "Avada Kedavra!" She couldn't tell if her spell had worked or not, because the flash of green took her out.

* * *

There was an Order meeting that night, and it was complete chaos. Dumbledore had been alerted about the death of Marlene and her family, which is why he had called the Order. He knew that this would be hard, since Marlene had been good friends with five of the members of the Order. Three would be there, but two would not.

"I've called you here again to deliver some news."

"Hold on. Shouldn't we wait for Marlene?" asked Sirius.

Albus closed his eyes. This is what he had been afraid of. "That's who I called everyone here about."

"What happened?"

"Sirius, she had no way to protect herself." The color drained from Sirius' face. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

Sirius fell to his knees. He sat there, not hearing any distinct words. He could only hear things in a muffled way. He couldn't see anything. It was all a blur. Hours passed, or at least it felt like hours. He could finally hear a noise, and he wondered where it was coming from, unaware that the sound was coming from him. He didn't know he was sobbing.

Remus went over to him and put his hands around him. He hugged him tightly, knowing how hard this was for his friend. Marlene had been his first real girlfriend, and the first girl he had actually allowed himself to fall in love with. She had been one of the only girls that had never put up with Sirius' crap, the only other girl being Lily.

Remus had also been the one to go to a Muggle jewelry store with Sirius, to pick up a ring for her. Sirius had been ready to propose with her the next evening, actually. And Remus knew she would have said yes. He knew that Sirius' soul mate was dead, leaving Sirius alone.

Remus sat with Sirius until the meeting ended. Even Peter left, not knowing what to do. Albus came up to him.

"I know James and Lily couldn't come, because she's watching over Harry, and James didn't want to leave her. I know you should be the one to tell them, but the six of us went through so much together. Would you mind allowing us to tell them?" Remus asked. He wanted to be there for Lily when she found out.

"Of course. Do it as soon as possible." He turned to leave.

"Wait," Sirius said.

Albus turned back to face Sirius. "Yes?"

"Would it be possible to see her? Please? To say…goodbye?" The word goodbye came out in a whisper, compared to the other words.

"I can arrange that. She is still at her house."

"Can we go now?"

"Wait until tomorrow, Sirius," said Remus. "Let us come with you." Sirius looked at Remus, about to argue, before Remus cut him off. "No. Lily and James will want someone there with them, and you need someone."

Sirius nodded.

"Take my hand, and we'll apparated straight to James and Lily's."

"I know where they live, Remus."

"I know. But you're not focused. You might splinch yourself. Let's just do Side-Along Apparition this once."

Again, Sirius nodded, taking Remus' hand, and they were gone.

* * *

James and Lily were sitting on their couch, cuddled and warm. They had wanted to go to the meeting, but Lily had to watch Harry, so they chose to stay home, since Albus said he should be there to help her. So they relaxed and took a bath together, and now they were on their couch. James had fallen asleep, snoring lightly, and Lily was reading a book.

There was a loud SNAP, and Lily squealed. James woke up, alert, and grabbed his wand.

"It's just Sirius and me."

James eyed them warily.

"We just got out of a meeting for the Order," said Sirius, his voice suddenly hoarse.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Lily.

"His girlfriend and her family killed last night by a group of Death Eaters," Remus replied.

It took a moment for Lily to comprehend what had happened. When she did, she sat up quickly.

"Marlene McKinnon and her family are dead?" She swallowed a bit. "But why?"

"Because Marlene was in the Order. And she was a threat to the Death Eaters."

Lily got up and walked to her room without a word, before closing her door and slipping down, sobbing on her way down. Lily had never been able to cry in front of people. Not even in front of her husband sometimes. She'd wanted to, but tonight was not the night. She heard a knock on the door, before it opened. It wasn't James, or even Remus. It was Sirius.

"Go away."

But he didn't. He sat down on the floor and waited for her to calm down.

"Lily, I know how you feel."

"Oh, and how might you know that?"

For his answer, he pulled a box out of his pants pockets, and opened it. It was an engagement ring. A pearl one. Lily took the box, and her eyes widened.

"You were going to propose to her?"

"Tomorrow evening. Do you think she would have said yes?"

"Absolutely. She always talked about you."

They talked for a little bit more, Lily occasionally starting to sob, and Sirius tearing up here and there.

"Dumbledore gave us permission to see her tomorrow. To tell her goodbye."

Lily nodded, and the two of them walked out, Sirius' arm around her shoulders.

"Everything kind of better?" asked James.

"It will be. Someday."

The rest of the night, the four of them stayed up all night sharing stories and memories. Some were happy, and even though they were happy, Sirius and Lily occasionally started sobbing again. Neither James nor Remus judged them, because they cried too. They had loved Marlene that much.

* * *

The next day, the four of them awoke late in the morning. An owl had dropped off a letter from Albus, telling them he would be at Godric's Hollow at five that evening, to escort them to the McKinnon house. The day passed, slowly. Sirius had gone home to change, and Lily and James played with James, while Remus joined in at times.

When five o'clock rolled around, the four of them were in the living room, and Dumbledore knocked. James walked forward to let them all in, and they all Disapparated, reappearing at the McKinnon household. There were Aurors surrounding the house, and Dumbledore led the four of them to the front door.

"You three go in." He held Sirius back to whisper in his ear. "You can put that ring on her finger."

Sirius was shocked that he knew, but at the same time, not shocked at all. He followed the other three in, and the moment he entered, he stopped. The whole family was still there, in the very same way as they had been killed. Marlene's parents, Jennifer and Joshua, were dead next to each other, only a few feet away from Marlene. Abigail was still thrown over the couch, her brown hair covering her face. Underneath her was still Elijah, with his neck broken. Aaron was still lying in his own blood in the far corner, which had started to give the room a fume.

And James, Lily, and Remus were all around Marlene, where Sirius joined them. Lily kneeled, putting her hand on Marlene's back.

"You were the best roommate, friend, and maid of honor a girl could ever wish for. You helped me so much with these three when we were in Hogwarts, never taking their shit, but still always being so nice. You helped me with my Head Girl duties when I needed it. I love you so much, Marlene."

James knelt down next to Lily. "She's right, you were the best. You helped me with my homework, and never believed me when I said that I was nothing. You helped convince Lily that I deserved a date, and you helped me see that Sirius was more than just a hot headed boy after the Whomping Willow incident. Without you, we might not still be friends."

Remus took his turn. "When you found out that I was a werewolf, not once did it ever occur to you that I was a monster. In fact, you even made me look in the mirror and see what you saw when you looked at me. You made me realize that no matter what, you would always see me as me, and not as a monster, and that really helped my confidence."

Sirius knelt down and took a deep breath. You were one of my best friends all through Hogwarts. You helped me with pranks, and you always made me feel like I wasn't a Black. That I actually belonged in Gryffindor. The boys and Lily did too, but when they couldn't convince me, you could. It took me until fourth year to realize that I liked you as more than a friend, and until sixth year to convince me to go out with you."

He took a deep breath and continued. "When we danced at James and Lily's wedding, you told me you loved me, and you had loved me so long. And I told you I loved you as well. We had said it before, but that was when I realized I couldn't live without you. You stuck through my tempers, and helped calm you down. And I was actually going to ask you to marry you tonight."

He took the box with the ring out of his pocket and smiled sadly at it. "I won't be able to ask you, but I have been told you would say yes, by basically every human who knew you, and Dumbledore told me I could put it on your finger." He slid it onto her finger slowly, and the moment it was all the way on, his body racked with sobs again. He rocked back and forth, over and over again, and Lily joined him. It was at that moment she became more than a friend to him, but a sister.

They all got up and walked to the door, except Sirius. He sat there staring at her body, wondering what to do next. The three of them watched as he took one last deep breath, leaned over, and kissed her head.

"I love you. Wherever you are. Remember that, I love you, and I will see you again. Until then…" he swallowed, "Goodbye."

He got up and walked over to the door to join his friends, before turning to look back and whisper, "I love you," one last time.

Sirius never recovered from losing her. The deaths of James and Lily didn't help any. But when fourteen years later, when he gave his godson a picture of the Order, and told her who that woman was, he had to try his hardest not to sob right then and there.

* * *

**A/N: Review! And please don't hate me!**


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